3rd week of October

That you be great! Coz a lot of schools that we go to say our curriculum is "inspired" by reggio Emilia philosophy as well.

But they don't stick to it

I have been to Reggio Emilia schools, Italy and completed a professional development course.

Reggio Emilia is a philosophy and its highly context aligned.

A small question before you select - at Reggio they don’t give pencil to a child for writing until the child demands it. Children in Reggio only ask for pencil post 5 years of age.

The teachers are pedagogistas who have decades of experience on just observing children and asking them the right question.

What schools around world actually do is pick an element, implement and say inspired by Reggio. Which as Harpreet said is a scam ☺ .

Doctor father here.

Sorry to here that.

So A short course of antibiotics will not effect your baby’s growth at all.

If bacterial infection is proven by raised TLC or by culture.

Antibiotics are Class 1 Level A recommendation for the child because till now no naturopathy / alternative medicine has found cure for bacterial infection.

For now when she is a little sick with the infection … there are commercial preparations like enterogermina (with the antibiotics )which if needed does support gut health.

Hi,

I am not a doctor but regarding supporting gut health

I understand she may be on exclusively on milk right now or about to begin solids

When you introduce solids you can then keep rotating foods that are naturally good for gut health eg

1) soft fruits like apples are usually what we first begin with they are good for gut health in general

2) so is curd

3) when you start other fruits than stews with added ginger in winter season

4) later on when proper solids begin you can keep introducing seeds and nuts ( maybe powdered form added to batters etc ) and fermented foods like dosa, idlis will assist with gut health in general

Hope she recovers soon

4.5 year old and 2.3 years old. Both of them sleep at 9.. younger one gets an hour of nap once he is back from playgroup.. elder one doesn't sleep in the day.. so both of them sleep at around 9 at max. We cosleep with them.

I follow a night time routine. And after that they both know that the lights will be off. Gradually they both have their individual time to sleep. Meanwhile I ensure that one doesn't disturb the other and maintain a quiet time.

Night time routine includes brushing, massaging and then reading a book of their choices which means 2 books at night. Then lights are switched off. I sleep between them 😅

After they sleep, you can have your time. They sleep in half an hour duration...max. Once they are in routine...then you can predict how much time they are going to go to sleep

Can you arrange your schedules so that at least one of you is able to spend time with her at a time after her school for a couple of hours so total 4 hours or so between you. And to have complementary peak periods. Even if you don't stop working it's important to carve out quality time

Secondly will require upfront investment in finding neighbour families with similar age kids who she can regularly play with

Hey

I have several broad thoughts on this

1) You are clearly speaking from a point of exhaustion, it seems stressful for the whole family right now. Perhaps that's why you are looking at all or nothing solution - either spend all the time with your daughter or quit your job, maybe it will help if you pause, rest and clear your head a bit. It may help you see things from a less emotionally charged vantage point. Hard days skew our vision. From a calmer place you can explore options you can work on within the realities of your life, a life that you know best

2) Like others said connection and spending time is essential here, you said your daughter is being destructive, if it means doing something dangerous then swift and clear intervention would be needed, but if it's anything else no matter how chaotic, it does seem like a call for attention, even with so many people it's possible for a child to not have the connection that makes them feel loved and secure

3) Your daughter is giving you direct and valuable information to support this, when she says everyone else is busy or when she is calmer after having spent time with you - she does seem to be missing loving connections of present parents

4) So you need to build connections within the limitations that you have stated and other factors that only you will be aware of, keeping that as a goal

a) you said you want her to be as she used to be - maybe because it was calmer for everyone and you all are exhausted - but honestly going back is rarely possible and more importantly try and assess do you really wish that? Do you want her to revert to a version she seems to have outgrown, maybe it would be better to reframe this goal as moving in a more connected harmony, to wish for less chaos would be too much :)

b) the yelling has to stop, there are really no two ways about it, these tactics can bring surface changes at times but don't bring any meaningful lasting results, for starters you can ask family's cooperation in this as you start rebuilding your connection

c) not sure what the support staff situation is at your home but depending upon feasibility you can consider getting part time help, you can decide the level of involvement - if even some ancillary aspects, errands can be delegated it can ease the pressure on your parents, reduce their exhaustion and in turn contain overall pressure

d) now for building connections you can start with the time you already have, for instance ion the morning you can finish non core tasks quickly and have as unhurried time as possible with your daughter, listen to her and respond to what she says, instead of direct questions you can seek her inputs on mundane things, as you get her ready, maybe make a favourite lunch

e) work on a night time ritual if you don't have one, combing her hair, reading together, story telling. She may not come directly to you if you ask, so you can get some interesting books and be engrossed in them yourself, ask her gently and then let her come to you

f) this slow approach goes for everything - just because you have started making effort does not necessarily mean she will respond instantly, with patience she should see the sincerity and consistency of your efforts

g) story telling is a great way to connect before bedtime, you can try inventing random stories with things you see, or you can stick to classic fairy tales

h) then as others suggested you and your husband can work schedules, take care of different aspects of her days, find more and more pockets of time to work with her

i) off days can be kept entirely for her, it doesn't have to be a going outside plan, you can create tents at home, have picnics in your living rooms, chores can wait or see if that's something she enjoys so you take her out on limited errand runs too, real life chaos can be a lot of fun for kids too

j) you can also see if she can join you in any self care routine you do / make meditation a game, so can be stretching or running

k) like others said it's more important to be fully present with her than keep her busy

l) Good Inside Is a good book that has some practical suggestions for connection building, other members of the group have also suggested good literature on this in earlier conversations

Hope you are able to work somethings out,rest up, recharge and then restart. 🫡

Yes, a school might be teaching a religion,but I don't think that will affect a kid as long as they have a positive environment outside school.

I am from a religious family and I studied in a punjabi school where we used to recite ardaas and sing Punjabi bhajans, we would be taken to Gurudwara every week, but this only made me more secular as I learnt about a religion different from mine,and instilled great respect for all other religions in young me, which I carry till now.. while I feel a lot of people who have studied in secular schools lack that empathy towards other religions..

And again it's not wrong in knowing our roots.

I guess school is a place where all religions in terms of festivals should be discussed with kids in a positive way. So that they know who celebrates what and how..bt in my son's school also, they celebrate a-z hindu festivals, xmas, halloween, and guru nanak bday, bt never ever eid or ramzan.. which I feel is not done..muslim kids in the school must be feeling differentiated and hence, the thinking of non acceptance may grow among them..also the other kids may not know the good things of one religion which actually is the need of an hour for being secular in real sense and know that no religion is less or more..

You’re trying to control your child’s environment too much. While it’s not wrong to want your child to eat safe and healthy, you will not be able to monitor so much. When she sees other children all enjoying something together, she will feel excluded. And then as she grows older she will start lying to you if you tighten the ropes too much. A sweet here and there will not hurt your child.

What you can do to control is cap it at maybe 3 treats a week. If she has something at the park, that will be counted in her weekly treats. All you can do is keep it in a balance.

Firstly try not to have very stringent rules. You can let go sometimes. That will help you stress less n not feel like it's a huge issue n neither will your child feel intimidated.

I had told all my friends n guardians of those who play with my daughter in the building to avoid gifting/distributing sweets to or in front of my daughter.

That was when she was really little.

I have almost always not exposed my child to the wrapper of any junk so if she is in a shop she doesn't understand what's inside.

Also I have never n still don't take her to a supermarket or store to buy anything so there is no question of throwing a tantrum n wanting something there....which I have seen other kids do.

Start experimenting with home made sweet treats and see what she likes and cater to her sweet cravings at home.

Don't make her feel deprived n feel like she cannot absolutely have something.

Children anyway can't eat huge quantities so once in a while a square of a cadbury or a piece of pizza or any other junk treat is fine. That way the child knows that mumma will give me when it's right for me.

If someone gifts her candies/chocolates/junk in the park etc you can take it gently from her n tell her you will give it to her later...maybe after a meal or on weekends. Make sure you give it to her though or else she will stop trusting you n hide n eat.

Most importantantly explain to her lovingly that mumma is on her side n always wants the best for her so she should always be honest with you n not be scared of telling you anything....

And even more important please don't reprimand her when she is honest n confesses to you.

From my experience being gentle n loving solves most of our problems with our little ones ❤

Once in a while does not harm. Set boundaries clearly.

Sorry but sharing.

Can you make something interesting at 7pm which attracts him

Story

Robotics

Lego

Special dish

Something that your son likes more than playing outside

Assumption: one of you is home by that time

That is a huge clue!!! And bravo to you for reading it!

He is clearly choosing time with you over TV.. So my suggestion would be to keep a few options on those 30 minutes — you can either read something interesting together or just chitchat or you could play a board game or do a puzzle or Lego together. Have a ‘special us’ corner in your home. And there could be some days when he might just want to watch TV.. I would suggest watch with him and initiate conversations about what you’re watching together

You may let him.watch TV say at 7:30 pm after a shower. So may be he comes home by 7pm and he has to freshen up and be there by 7:15 or 7:30 (whatever is the time you see is needed for a shower after play). Else, no TV for the day. May be that logical consequence help. 🤔

Negotiate with him about this first. Talk to him about the problem genuinely. Ask him about how you and him can work on this. Ask for suggestions..May be sitting wit pen and paper may help. Taking in his suggestions. And then seeing wat can work for the family.

Why dont u look at enrolling her in some tennis, batminton or football class

These classes usually have batches basis age group

This can help u with outdoor activity and plus a age filter

I am also working with really long hours

1. U can fix a permant cab/auto person for her pick and drop

2. and start with something otherwise she will also not understand what she genuinely likes. And outdoor might be a bit out of her comfort zone

Once she goes and makes frnds she might start liking it

Why necessarily cycle/swim? Why don’t you just go out and explore? Even in your building compound. Start with walking together and just observing things & people. Run around. Play running games.

You can do adventure walks, obstacle courses. Ask her to make her own course. Start small

I feel you. I give 14 hours to office every single day from Monday to Friday...and I am left with approx.4 hrs before i retire and i have to do everything in this 4-hr window....be it spending quality time with my kids, going to gym, do their HW, dinner & preparing for our lunches the next day.

So what I did?

I started spending money on helps and tuitions rather than exploring multiple classes for them since there was no way I could this alone.

I kept a 24-hr help at home to deal with household chores

I kept home tuitions (though i was completely against it), but had to! So, they are done with their studies by the time I reach home.

I take them for outdoor play for an hour everyday from Monday to Thursday.

Friday till Sunday- we all go swimming in the evening.

I give them screen time for about an hr and I am okay with that. They are 7.5 years old now and I monitor what they watch.

This is it. and this seems to be working.

I have twins and i faced this issue earlier they were comfortable with each other while playing outdoors and didn't make much friends as most of them were either elder to them or younger....they still have only two friends in the block-one who is 19 yr old and one who is 5 year old! 😀

But I am okay with that...It's more imp that they go out and explore and as long as they are in good company.

Do not think much. They will eventually find good company and will enjoy the company. Children are smarter than we think they are 😀

Just let the child know first and foremost that you understand this might have felt bad and that you are always here to hear him out whatever the case may be even if he has reacted and done something. But in case someone does make the child feel like that then he lets the bully know it isn't right and it is hurting him. practice saying such things with your kid and ask him if he said that and then what happened. If it still repeats then tell him to let the bully know that he is now going to complain the teacher or anyone with authority. And to let you know do you can find out if any action was taken by the school. Also teach the kid how to be away and non responsive to such people say just try ignoring for five times and tell me what the bully did. Because they will give up more often than not. But keep yourself in the loop with the reactions he gets from the bully and the authorities at school so you know who to hold accountable.

Resharing this book on bullying ("Share It, Speak Up, Stop It", free on StoryWeaver). Very simply written and whenever my daughter faces such things, she feels comfortable reading this with me. Hope it helps

In my opinion, using the word will be actually good so that the kid knows to name the behaviour. Not sure if I am right but that's what I think.

Only way forward is to let him have more such experiences, and not to sheath him from them.

And to make sure he is not looked down upon at home. Even through body language. Even the way you talk to him. Tone of " worry " and " fear " will be uncalled for.

You can take the teacher route as you already have, but for verbal spats, he will have to figure certain things out for himself with time!

And he will!

If a line is crossed, you intervene with strength for sure

We never keep eyes on the fellow friends from the school which comes from educated families but still our kids learn some or other words which we have never used in or heard in our family. Still they learn nd ask the meaning of that word. So it’s not in our control which child is using bad language or which not. It’s very common in this age. So let him play might he will learn some new good things from those children. You just absorb them when they are plying around. Or later you can ask to your son what does he learn from them.

Just sharing my beautiful experience.

My son used to play with a 4-5 year old girl from nearby chawl. My son nd her doesn't have any common language. She knew only Marathi. But they used to enjoy each other's company. They would communicate with face expression etc. I loved watching them.

Another experience not so pleasant and I had hard time dealing with. One boy in our society has virtual autism. He was not speaking instead he would shriek to get what he wants. My son used to play with him. And guess what, my son started exactly same behaviour, same shrieking in few days.

We have to accept at some point that we can’t completely prevent our kids from learning foul words. My 5 year old came back and told me he learnt the “B” word, a year after he learnt the F word. Of course from the bus. Well educated, families and all. All we can do is explain to them what impact those words have. Emotional and social consequences of using them. And leave them at that.

I did have a very jumpy reaction to the “B” word….and contemplated pulling him out of the bus. But talking it out with my husband helped me see things in a better light.

So what we told our kids is “understand what you are saying, understand how that makes others feel, and know what kind of a person wants to make you feel that way and is that the kind of person you want to be. Also understand that if an adult finds you using those words you will get punished/ reprimanded for it. It’s on you to take the consequences, should you choose to use them.

You get kids artwork frame. It opens like a book and you can change the artwork everyday like keeping a paper in a file. You can hang it on the wall.

Search for "Kids Artwork Storage Photo Frame" on amazon.

At this age I focus more on learning through everyday life reading, maths, conversation, activities, outdoor time,and practical experiences.i am still learning and figuring out what works Best for my child, so I wouldn't say there is one perfect way.if you are confused between school and homeschooling I would suggest first understanding your childs needs and your family routine how much time you can realistically give.